FALLING IN LOVE WITH REFLECTIONS

When we meet a person do we really meet the person that he is? I believe we simply meet the reflection of our own self in him. Have you ever met any body or just your own reflections? Your own interpretation. When you meet a person we immediately start interpreting that person. We start creating an image about him. That image is ours. The person is not important, what is important to us is just our image of that person. More and more the image becomes clear the person is forgotten. And then we live with this image. When we talk to that person we talk to our image of that person not to the person he is. Let us take your example. If I ask you tell me about your self? You will come up with your qualification, your work, your lively hood, your interests, your spiritual nature etc. Now ask the same question about your self to your parents, spouses, children, friends, associate. They all will have their own version of you.

When you meet a man or women and fall in love. Do you think you are falling in love with the other person? No, you are falling in love with the image that you have created around the other. And the other is also falling in love with the image that she or he has created around you. Whenever two person fall in love at least four person are there and then there is trouble. Because you never fall in love with the person, you fall in love with your own image. And he or she is not there to fulfill your image. Sooner or later the reality comes out. A conflict arises between your dream and the real, between your image and the real person, who is there absolutely unknown. And then there is clash. Every love affair shatters on the rock. Deeper the love intense the feeling sooner it shatters on the rock. It has to happen because two person fall in love with there own images. How can they be together? Those images will be always in between them and those images will be false. Real person is totally different. He is not your image and he is not there to fulfill your expectation, neither are you there to fulfill anybodies expectation. A real person is real, he has his own destiny. You have your own destiny. If you can walk together hand in hand for few moments on the path. So far so good. But you cannot expect that you do this and don’t do that. Once you start expecting you are bringing your image in. love is almost dead. What remains is a dead relation. That is why people get married so many times and divorce so many times. They seek true love which they never get because they do the same mistake of falling in love with the image that they have created of others.

To be in love is a totally different affair; it’s an affair of the heart. The conflicts of the images are there but there are few who have overcome all the odds. Who have found the real meaning of love, they have learned that to be in love is all about sharing, giving, understanding, and adjusting. They have learned to love the person as he or she is and not the image that they have of the other person. These are the people who don’t ‘fall in love’, but ‘rise in love’.

Open your eyes look around your self, look at people as they are and not as you want them to be, strip the image you have created about them. You will find a new world the real world. This world is full of happiness and possibilities. Welcome to this new world.

Are you infected with the "FEAR OF FAILURE?"

Fear of failure is one of the greatest fears people have. Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people.

The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.

Buckminster Fuller wrote, “Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned only through mistakes.”

Most people self-limit themselves. Most people do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try because they are afraid they will fail.

Take these steps to overcome your fear of failure and move yourself forward to getting the result you desire:

Step One: TAKE ACTION. Bold, decisive action. Do something scary. Fear of failure immobilizes you. To overcome this fear, you must act. When you act, act boldly.
Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. You must overcome the inertia by doing something. Dr. Robert Schuller asks, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” What could you achieve? Be brave and just do it. If it doesn’t work out the way you want, then do something else. But DO SOMETHING NOW.

Step Two: PERSIST. Successful people just don’t give up. They keep trying different approaches to achieving their outcomes until they finally get the results they want. Unsuccessful people try one thing that doesn’t work and then give up. Often people give up when they are on the threshold of succeeding.

Step Three: DON'T TAKE FAILURE PERSONALLY. Failure is about behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. Although what you do may not give you the result you wanted, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. Because you made a mistake, doesn’t mean that you are a failure.

Step Four: DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else. There is an old saying, “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.” If you’re not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. Most people stop doing anything at all, and this guarantees they won’t be successful.

Step Five: DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. Hey, if nothing else, you know what doesn’t work. Failure is a judgement or evaluation of behavior. Look at failure as an event or a happening, not as a person.

Step Six: TREAT THE EXPERIENCE AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN. Think of failure as a learning experience. What did you learn from the experience that will help you in the future? How can you use the experience to improve yourself or your situation? Ask yourself these questions:
What was the mistake?
Why did it happen?
How could it have been prevented?
How can I do better next time?
Then use what you learned from the experience to do things differently so you get different results next time. Learn from the experience or ignore it.

Step Seven: LOOK FOR POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITIES THAT RESULT FROM THE EXPERIENCE. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says “every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.” Look for the opportunity and the benefit.

Step Eight: FAIL FORWARD FAST. Tom Peters, the management guru, says that in today’s business world, companies must fail forward fast. What he means is that the way we learn is by making mistakes. So if we want to learn at a faster pace, we must make mistakes at a faster pace. The key is that you must learn from the mistakes you make so you don’t repeat them.
Although we all make mistakes, fear of failure doesn’t have to cripple you. As self-help author Susan Jeffers says, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Step nine: BURN THE BOATS. (This is one of my Favorite. I have used this step in most of my projects and in my personal life too. It has always worked for me.) When ancient Greek armies traveled across the sea to do battle, the first thing they would do after landing was to burn the boats, leaving them stranded. With no way to make it home besides victory, the resolve of the soldiers was strengthened. When success and failure are the only options, you have no choice but to follow through.

If you have a goal, but are afraid to commit, force yourself into action by burning the boats. Register for an exam in advance if you want to go back to school. Set a deadline to move to a new city without signing a lease. Fear of failure disappears when you realize it can’t save you.